Written by John - OTR Saturday, 10 October 1998 00:00

This game saw Jim The Hippy make his first full appearance at the pre-match drink since he got married in April. So we took full advantage of this and got him to buy a round and pay for the taxi to Boghead. He didn't manage to make it to the post-match drink though, part-timer that he is.

The match itself was absolute mince. Dumbarton created two chances in the first half. One was when Colin McKinnon ran onto a great cross by Paddy Flannery but then volleyed the ball right out of the ground. The second was when Paddy Flannery attempted another acrobatic volley. He connected with the ball well enough but it flew straight into the keeper's arms. That was that. It was dull, dull, dull.

The second half wasn't much better. In fact, the crowd were getting distinctly unhappy at the team's performance. But the situtation was helped when Paddy Flannery scored for the fourth consecutive game. The real hero of the goal, however, was One Of The Melvins (both were on at this stage), who fought for the ball, took it round a player or two before shooting straight at the keeper, who fumbled it out to Flannery who sidefooted into the net. Paddy was obviously quite pleased and took his shirt off and ran towards the centre-circle where the referee promptly booked him.

As far as the football goes, that's all of interest to report but there were some other incidents, documented below.

Comedy Highlight Number 1
The Old Man With The Poly Bags shouting "That's no' a linesman, that's a prostitute. He takes dirty money" after the far side linesman got another decision wrong. Had us in stitches that did. I'll need to start writing his sayings down, some are absolute gems.

Comedy Highlight Number 2
Singing "Cheer up Ian McCall" to Ian McCall as he left Boghead at 4.30, driving away in a white Porsche. And they say Clydebank FC are strapped for cash !

Comedy Highlight Number 3
Seeing ex-Son Paul Martin losing the place entirely, seconds after the ref blew for full time. He walked towards the touchline and began challenging various Sons fans to a fight in the car park. He been getting a bit of stick during the game. And quite right too after his last performance in a Dumbarton jersey, which saw Dundee United hammer us 8-0 at Tannadice a few years back. By all accounts, Martin just didn't bother trying and gifted a number of goals to United. Anyway, I think the fans were quite looking forward to a scrap when the linesman and referee ushered Martin away from the touchline and back towards the tunnel. I wonder if it'll feature in the referee's report ?

And finally a Public Service Announcement on behalf of all Sons fans but especially Smash, one of the Elephant's Record Spinners (who had the cheek to say that my record collection was crap)
"We hope that Iain Menzies gets his car aerial back before the next home match".